Exit Through the Gift Shop, Enter Through the Wall

I’ve been watching Charlie Chaplin’s film “Limelight” for the second, and hopefully last, time in my life. He made it when he was in his 60′s and it’s one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. How on earth did the king of comic behavior become the king of over-talking? The whole movie is him preaching to a bed ridden girl in a small room.

SHUT UP!!!

Chaplin loved making movies too much. Great love can cause great men to tarnish their legacies. After “Limelight”, Chaplin made two more universally panned films – “A King in New York” and “Countess From Hong Kong”. I haven’t seen either, but that’s probably good because apparently even Hellen Keller couldn’t handle the experience. These late works apparently don’t tarnish his legacy, probably because people willfully forget them, but it’s really discouraging to see the icon of my icons so awful on screen. Awful. Have I mentioned I don’t like “Limelight”?

Charlie’s not the only great man to hang onto a career too long. Matter of fact, another man I hold in equal regards, Michael Jordan, did the same when he joined the Washington Wizards. Here was this ungodly athletic specimen from another planet who had so dominated the mere mortals who dared step foot on his court, now relegated to play with the joke of the NBA. He was still good, but where were the kiss the rim dunks?

Bill Watterson, my third and greatest idol, got it right. He blasted on the scene with Calvin and Hobbes, produced ten years of unparalleled genius, and split. I mean peaced out. You will never hear from him again. And as frustrating as that is to a lot of fans even to this day, it’s the kindest thing he could have done, because every single panel we have of Calvin and Hobbes is gold. There are no years of mediocrity. No discussion of Calvin jumping the shark. That’s the way to do it – go out on top. Like Michael Jordan with his first retirement. And second.

My boss asked me the other day: if I could have anyone’s career, whose would I have? I would have Bill Watterson’s. I would love to do youtube videos for two or three more years, move to television or film and work exhaustively for fifteen years, and then be gone for good. Out in Africa somewhere, chillin’ with the lions, out of sight.

lolcat

It’s midway through 2011, or as I dubbed it, “The Year of Progress”. I really believe this will be a big year for me and several of my friends career-wise. If you recall my previous blog, I had a sketch comedy group called “Dingbat”. Our first show was great. I was flying high, the sky was the limit, we were gonna make it. Our second show? Comedy death. Which, as Steve Martin put it, “is worse than real death”. Noah and I put our heads together and came up with an outstanding third show. It was one of my best live performances. The only problem was hardly anybody showed up. We were granted one more show. This time no one showed up. We were forced to cancel. Not a soul showed up to see us perform.

And so went the Dingbat Comedy Show.

After that I got desperate. How desperate? I tried stand up comedy. My old enemy. Here is my brief history with stand up: I started at 16; my teacher would let me do 5 minutes at the end of class. After my first act, she told the class “that was the least funny thing I’ve ever seen”. Inspired by her encouraging words, I performed on stage and on the radio in Hawaii a few times to zero success. In California, at 18, I got my first night club gig. It was a 21 and over club, I was the only white guy there, and my act consisted of me impersonating the likes of Jimmy Stewart, Clint Eastwood, Humphrey Bogart, and every other white dude over 80 years old. After about one minute I was booed mercilessly off the stage. The audience made siren sounds, screamed, yelled, did everything but take me out back and beat me up. But they may as well have. My spirit was so crushed I didn’t attempt stand for another… week. At the same club. Nearly the same result. Then in college I performed stand up in spurts for five years. My best shows were marginally entertaining, my worst shows were unspeakable. My material was way too absurd, my  behavior way too wild to be funny to anyone but me. I never understood why nobody got me. But I wasn’t good enough to be gotten. My last show in Oregon was at a juggling festival. The entire backdrop fell right before the punch line of my carefully fabricated first joke, killing it. That did me in. I was asked to get off stage just minutes after, none of my jokes having landed. I was so furious I quit altogether.

Until a couple months ago. With nothing but stains of failure on my resume, I waddled out to the famed Comedy Store to try my wiles with Hollywood’s best. I did well. And “well” is great. “Well” is terrific. “Well” means “I have something here!” I started booking shows, trying to get out as much as possible. It lasted a week. I did a show in North Hollywood. Upon my introduction I went on stage, turned my back to the audience, and started telling a joke to the wall. Mid way through the joke I turned to the audience, and made like I just had a revelation. Oops, I was facing the wrong way, what a dummy. I apologized to the audience, saying I was new at this. No laughter. Nothing. My next joke fell flat. I got nervous. I started messing with the mic. I tried another joke. Silence. Silence.

But hey, my youtube channel got partnered, so there’s that. Actually, I’m downplaying. I’m thrilled I got partnered, because that means I can actually start making money on filmmaking, and it’s all dependent on me. If I work hard and make good videos, there’s absolutely a stream of income. If I slack off, oh well, so goes another opportunity. It’s got me invigorated to improve as an artist and comedian and try to make the best videos I can. Since the partnership, I feel my videos have improved and I’m finding my voice. This is thrilling, especially since the last 3 years in LA I’ve been wandering around the desert with only the faintest idea what my true voice is. It’s becoming clear.

By the way, “Limelight” is about a stand up comedian who didn’t quit while he was ahead so he got old and unfunny. Straight irony. But before I start thinking about quitting while I’m ahead, I better get ahead. So help me out and go to my youtube page!

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